My Own Personal Chocolate Craving Meter

Have you downloaded Dr. Albers’ Chocolate Craving Meter yet? I just did, and I can tell you it’s a pretty thing. Graphically, it’s quite well done. (Do you feel a “but” coming on?) BUT, these indicators don’t work for me at all.

Let’s start with the “Very Low” indicator. It reads: “I don’t really want it [chocolate]. It wouldn’t taste good right now.” I have NEVER felt this way in my entire life! Same with the “Low” indicator: “I could take chocolate or leave it and be okay either way.” Nope. I can’t even think of a chocolate bad enough that would cause me to think this.

We move on to a “Moderate” craving: “A little chocolate sounds good! It would hit the spot.” Then, a “High” craving: “I really want chocolate! I can’t stop thinking about it.” And, lastly, “Very High”: “I must have it! Chocolate is calling my name!”

Now, please do what you want with your own craving meters, but I’m going to do a little editing to mine. First, I’ll completely cut off the “Very Low” and “Low” categories because they’re just wasting space. Now, I’ll need a little re-writing for the other three.

Moderate: “Eating this chocolate will keep me sane for at least, oh, a couple hours.”

High: “I hear you talking to me, but instead of seeing your face, I’m seeing a molten lava cake. Wait, what? Is that you, Auntie Em?”

Very High: “Step away from my chocolate, or you’re toast.”

Much better!


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