Chocolate Tea, You Make Me Sad

Your handsome packaging enticed me, and despite the fact I’m in a monogamous relationship with chocolate coffee (venti mocha, anyone?), I’ll admit it; I was intrigued.

I like to start my morning with a freshly ground blend of mocha-flavored beans. I’m currently hooked on Larry’s Beans’ Mightier Mocha Java, which I have delivered in multi-packs as I never want to run out. I limit myself to a large-ish mug in the a.m. since I’ve learned any coffee in the afternoon messes with my precious sleep units.

Tea, however, is a different beast. I can, and in the colder months often do, have a small cup of Earl Gray in the early afternoon as a nice pick-me-up, without any insomnia resulting. Could it be that I might have my afternoon tea and my chocolate all mixed together in one wonderful cup?

I was a little nervous, but very optimistic (again, the handsome packaging). I took a whiff inside the opened can while I boiled water and found my nose wrinkling a bit. Not the olfactory pleasure I was hoping for…but still optimistic while I steeped the tea, and finally, took a sip.

What a disappointment. All that anticipation, and…

…Oh, chocolate tea… I’m afraid to say we’re just not a good match. First, it seems like you’re going through some kind of identity crisis. Do you want to be tea or do you want to be chocolate? Because I’m not tasting either in quantities to help me decide. As tea, you are just so, so bitter and odd tasting, and as chocolate, well, this is no kind of chocolate experience I’d like to repeat.

Did I drink the whole cup? Of course I did, for the sake of the experiment, but I did it with a smirk of contempt. You had one shot with me, chocolate tea, and you blew it.

(As always, dear readers, don’t take one curmudgeon’s word for it. Do cheat on your coffee, and report back.)

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